**Kwan Holloway**

A muse from ‘Dapper Durags’ (2022)

Interview W/ Kwan

Q: Can you introduce yourself?

A: Hey! My name is Kwan Holloway, I was born and raised in Washington Heights and Harlem, NY. I’m a software engineer and creative. I like drawing, collaborating on shoots—I’ve done a lot of photoshoots with you over the past decade, writing, and creative movement— I move a lot.

Q: So you usually rock an afro, what was it like to wear a durag for this photoshoot and what impact did it have?

A: It was a bit different because I usually sport the afro, I have for over 10 years—it’s like my signature style. So, while I do different styles with my hair, it’s for the most part in an afro and my chances to wear a durag are few and far between. I can probably say I’ve worn durags in my life, maybe less than 6 months total. It was cool though because i’ve always liked the style, but having so much hair, I never have the chance to wear one. I got my first one for Christmas or a birthday—and it felt good, like I was tapping into another part of my culture, the “silky”—and here it was a “velvet silky.” It was empowering.

Q: As a Black man, especially in corporate, do you feel any pressure around your appearance, and if so, has it affected your relationship with fashion?

A: I definitely feel pressure around my appearance in some way. It’s multi-faceted. There’s the classic, not wanting to come across too “White” to Black people, or too “aggressive” to non-Black people. There was a time when [wearing] too much streetwear had certain negative perceptions. I have a variety of fashion styles—like what I’ll call the “dapper Black man”, but there’s pressure and expectation around that too because I also don’t want people to think that I’m not close to my culture. But I’m confident in myself and in my fashion sense and I have a good relationship with it.

Q: What were your thoughts when you heard about the theme of the photoshoot and were asked to be a part of it?

A: I thought it was a nice theme. It’s no secret that hair is a very serious thing to Black people, and a big part of our culture—one that lives on in spite of the impact of colonization. The hair presents itself in many ways in this shoot, the buzz cut, which I think represents assimilation into Whiteness because we were forced to cut our hair because they didn’t like out hair texture. But we owned it in a way—it’s a classic style in the Black community. Then there’s Darryl with the locs, leaning into another side of the culture, and my hair is in twists under the durag, which is kind of in-between and it’s versatile. It resonated because Black people—Black men aren’t one-note, we are very all encompassing.

Q: How has growing up in New York influenced your relationship with your hair and how you present yourself?

A: That’s a good question. New York [City] is about it’s multiple cultures, and so I grew up in a very Dominican, Caribbean, West Indian environment—and so all of that means “cut your hair.” Because of the remnants of colonization, there’s the residual narrative of “a Black man needs to cut his hair because, you won’t get a job with your hair looking like that, you won’t get a girl with your hair looking like that, you wont get ‘x’ with your hair looking like that” and their idea of good hair, was “just cut it—it’s ugly, it’s bushy, it’s nappy.” For most of my life, my mother and grandmother were always like “cut your hair”, and then when I started to grow out the ‘fro for myself, they would not stop telling me to cut my hair. Especially when I was graduating college and looking for jobs, they encouraged me to cut my hair because they were like, “they won’t hire you if you don’t—you should cut it to make sure you have a better chance”, and I remember telling them, “if they won’t hire me because of the hair that naturally grows out of my head, then that’s not the job for me.” I had to fight against that as a teenager, do what felt good for me, and live in my truth with my hair. You can ask anyone, if they had to associate me with anything, the way people find me from down the block is with my hair, the way people draw me in caricatures, it’s my afro. It’s a part of my identity that I’ve come to love.

Q: In the Black community, we’re very big on protecting our hair with bonnets, durags, “protective styles”. How do you feel about durags as a symbol of protection around Black identity?

A: I think it’s exactly that. We are very intentional about our hair and our bonnets and durags can be literal shields against the elements. I remember the difference between the health of my hair when I wasn’t wearing something to cover my hair while I slept, and now it’s essential. Symbolically, it definitely represents a shield of sorts—one that protects our self-expression, our self-care, and in my case, a huge piece of my identity.

***“Take the time it takes to be you, don’t take the quick way to be someone you aren’t.”***

Q: What would you want to tell people who are learning to live in their Black identity, and embrace their hair as it is?

A: That it’s worth the work, even if it’s not easy. Black hair can be difficult to manage, and I don’t mean that in a derogatory way but it can tangle, in certain environments especially—it can be a 4, 5-hour process to wash and style our hair. But it’s a labor of love. Good things don’t come easy, and there are are lot of people who say “Black hair is too much work, I don’t want to deal with that, so I’m just cutting it” as if it’s like a weed that’s growing out of hand. Your hair is not weeds. It’s worth the work. People are going to combat you, and it’s a labor in that you do have to fight to be yourself because the world wants you to conform. Don’t conform, be you. Take the time it takes to be you, don’t take the quick way to be someone you aren’t. No beef to buzz cuts or caesars though, if that’s you, then rock that too, just don’t conform.

Q: What’s your favorite picture from the shoot?

A: Probably the one with all of our eyes closed, and mine and Darryl’s hands on Jonathan’s shoulders. I love the lighting and the composition. Everyone’s moisturized to hell. But it feels like because our hands are on his shoulders, there’s something symbolic about a passing of energy, a passing of experience—since we both have about 10 years on him. His hands are clasped too and it feels like the energy we’re passing on is flowing back up to us too, taking what he learns back up to the older generation.

Outtakes & Views: Dapper Durags